Thursday, September 3, 2009

Love and other similar disasters

Everybody is always lamenting about the economy these days…..

I am told it is basically people who were spendthrifts all their life before the market crashed and now have to keep all that green paper on a tight leash. I feel sorry for them since most of these innate squanderers must have only leashed dogs all their lives {think Chihuahuas with ribbons}. And if they are compulsive whiners then I can only imagine how distraught they must be wondering who exactly to blame since half of them do not have the mental facility to understand complex economics that explains markets…. After doing two years of economics I myself turn tone deaf if some one does me the superfluous favour of asking questions to compliment my non-existent excellence in the subject. Phew!!!!!! People, I tell you!!

Well I have decided to help these destitute souls by giving them someone to pass the buck on to. Maybe they should try the “New World Order”…..
For any one who is delighted that I am finally going to give substantial proof regarding my craziness by coming up with the most moronic cock and bull story possible then sorry to burst your bubble in advance. This isn’t my idea……. It’s a conspiracy theory that says that the whole world is controlled by a secret group of bankers who control the world through central banks……….. Ooooooooooohhhhhh!!!!!!!! Have we {as in you people reading this} already started seeing malevolence hidden behind the benevolent central banks who saved us all from drowning with the economy when it took an almighty downward plunge??????? I don’t know………But it’s a refreshing change from the ‘bad loans thanks to America theory’. {Persons wanting to know more about this particular theory, since you’re already online go Google it: P………}.

Talking of Google I quite like the way they changed their icon to commemorate Michael Jackson’s 51st birthday. All music channels were busy showing his most popular songs…. There are controversies regarding his death too! People have been talking of weird things happening in Neverland…… Please ignore the harmless ones about him being drugged and stuff. There are certain stories that raise your hackles about him having been possessed by some vile extra terrestrial creature. Ughhhhhhh........ I am sure Peterpan must be turning around in his grave {that is if he was stupid enough to leave the real neverland and turn old and die or he was really dumb and ticked tinker bell off}. If this sounds Greek to you I declare you as failed in your fairytales paper so go brush up on that aspect.
Talking of fairytales I always have come across write-ups declaring the prince Charles princess Diana wedding to be a fairytale wedding……. Too bad it ended up in adultery, a marriage broken and a car crash and put a rude full stop to the already dwindling belief of people in happy endings. It has always intrigued me how she died…… Her death has been topic for conversations on stormy nights by a fireside or cosy bedrooms filled with giggling teenagers on a sleepover or at dinner tables for years now…… Was she pregnant??????? Was she engaged to Dodi Fayed? Was it the paparazzi???? A drunk driver???? Or the MI6 {That is the british secret service... think james bond or british version of CIA}??? No one knows and those who do will never speak….. There’s a hilarious theory that says the world is dominated by some reptilian alien species that has taken over bodies of all the powerful people like the British royal family and George Bush and that princess Di’s knowledge of the same got her killed so that she would remain silent on this front……… Yeah I can imagine a reptile inside George Bush……. No wonder he reads books upside down and his hand is on his stomach since his heart is there {incase he has one} during the national anthem…….. Maybe that is why the day before when I was busy teaching the students in my social involvement programme this unusually monstrous lizard outside the window looked as if it was actually staring at me…….. maybe it’s an alien planning to invade my body next…… if the next post is about houseflies and other unappetizing delicacies please realize what must have happened……..brrrrrrr the very thought stuns me at a molecular, cellular whatever level …….

Cellular reminds me of secret cells and societies like the illumnati and the skull and bones in the Yale University. These are supposedly secret societies {how the hell it is then that they are all over search engines if there are ‘secret’ I don’t know} which aim at controlling the world or something exceedingly ambitious along the lines. Funny thing is that even here beloved Georgie’s name crops up again……. He is supposed to be a member of the Skull and Bones society at Yale. Yeah! Nice …… Lot like Jughead getting the Nobel Prize!

I like the whole aliens do exist concept… gives me a reason to keep gazing out of class during lectures….. “But Miss, honest to God! I saw an UFO...”
Hmmmmmmmm maybe Steven Spielberg should try making one more alien movie after war of the worlds wherein the President of the nation is an alien and gives out destructive orders! Hehehehehehehe………… Destructive governments ring a bell about false flag operations…….. It is actually a simple concept you know. You thought the 9/11 and other acts of terror were committed by terror cells out side of your nation????? How about this …. What if the terror cell was a white lie used by an instable government to gain the confidence of the masses???? {Meaning they did it themselves and fooled you big time by concoting stories about extremists at work} What better situation to do so than create a state of fear themselves so that the public would rely and put their trust in them???????? Smart huh????? Yeah!!! Ever heard of the book State of Fear by Michael Crichton………… It gives you a different outlook on the whole global warming gobbledygook. Gives me something to throw back at environmentalists who are just mentalists and nothing else... … The book basically enlightens us about “eco-terrorists” and how big fat firms use statistics to frighten us, ‘the erudite populace’. If you are worried about the whole world ending up being a huge edition of the Sahara desert then I think the book will make you worry about if you shall be sharing backyard space with mammoths and sabre-tooths since winter will be for ever and fur will be in fashion{ I wonder what PETA will have to say then}. It also raises the question ‘so what about petrol and all that???’ I mean if there supposedly is no global warming and all these resources won't exhaust themselves then why all that hike in prices of petrol huh?????? Anyways the Arabs I am sure will hate this conspiracy theory if it ever turns out to be proved true. Well! So much for all their man made islands……….. Maybe when apocalypse or the day of judgement or whatever calls upon us then maybe these islands will be all that is left for us like Noah’s ark or something you know! Yeah!

Some people think that the recent entry into our “diseases list”, swine flu is an experiment gone bad of the bio-weapons section of the US army……. Maybe they read Stephen King’s ‘The Stand’. Come to think of it the ‘captain tripps’ {the disease in the book} and our swiney are very much alike in a spooky, freaky kind of way……….
I wonder what big brother will have to say about my ideas on conspiracies……… Yeah they are saying that forced transition to Digital television broadcasting is practical realization of Big Brother concept. They claim that miniature cameras and microphones are built in Set-top boxes and newer TV sets to spy on people. Another claim describes use of mind control technology that would be hidden in the digital signal and used to subvert the mind and feelings of the people for subliminal advertising ……….. That and the movie" eagle eye "is true! it’s a nice movie though! I loved Shia ………
People always ask me how come I suddenly got hooked to English music…… I always was a Hindi gal {I still am}… Maybe the songs all have back masking in it you know. When you rewind the song a secret message is heard and in the normal version all you hear is baseless noise to fill in the space between verses and choruses….. And the secret message must have entered my subconscious without my knowing and I got addicted to these songs and bands and singers and then I became a follower of Satan and his diabolic ways…….Yada yada yada…….. People are so paranoid.……… Next we will have some group trying to exorcise the Linkin Park and the Jonas Brothers to stop then from sending god knows what devilish ideas to youngsters… The JoBros will charm their way out of trouble I am sure, what with all the smiles and clowning around……. But the Linkin Park will find it a bit trickier you know….. Basically all they have to do is to blast one of their songs at full volume… not a soul will dare come near ever again.
Souls and Satan and spirits have always intrigued humans….. What with the fascination with the number 666 and Ghost Hunters on the channel star world…… I always wonder how people differentiate between multiple personality disorder and possession of a body by a spirit…… Maybe it’s one and the same. Or maybe it isn’t. But it’s weird how people with MPD talk in languages they never even knew to exist in their normal state of mind… No wonder conspiracy theorists believe in all that hogwash about phantoms and spectres and stuff… All these weirdo conjectures are nothing compared to the most ancient theory that started doing its rounds since they days of Adam and Eve….. Oh c’mon!!!!!! We know it don’t we????? Alright …… it’s called “The Existence of LOVE” …. And I’ll tell you why I think it’s so…. There are those who are in favour of it and those who oppose its existence staunchly… We know both these sets of people. It isn’t like a certain group of scientists we can’t relate to even in the wildest of our imaginations. Some are our friends some are family and sometimes ‘tis just us. Meanwhile "We spend half our lives speculating, calculating, and cogitating about the existence of love whereas if we had put in the same amount of time and effort in the stock market we would have become millionaires" which is the smart quote for the day………. And like all other cock and bull stories we have a lot of books and movies made on this and we have a ball of a time adding fuel to the fires of our imagination……

So fundamentally LOVE is also a conspiracy theory in its own diabetic, cardiac arresting way…….. You can give me your views and opinions …… this is one hot topic for debating……. I am not for or against it….. I am, just having fun instigating you guys to give me your views………..

Until I am sure about my own stand on the love theory……..

Yours truly busy conspiring and instigating………



  1. niceee!!! especially the latter part:D

  2. thats so much of

  3. Shruti:- Thank you!!!! I am smart huh?! Hear hear SRjr hahahhahah