Saturday, September 26, 2009

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly...

This rain here, outside my window is a big time tease….. It drizzles and tempts me with hopes of a shower to wash away this heat. It only drizzles. It’s like walking in to your apartment smelling pizza only to know it’s from the neighbour’s house.

The weather in Mumbai is nuts. Oh! And happy birthday gran!!!

One second you feel like you’re in a frying pan and then in the next before you can say ‘monsoon’ you’re drenched from head to toe. Well at least I can blame the weather for being the way it is, because it’s the weather. It’s supposed to be unpredictable {to all but the Met department}. What about unpredictable people??? Sometimes exhibiting a sunny disposition which only takes minutes to be covered by dark clouds of rage and thunder and lightening that continue for days making life humid and stuffy for the person at the receiving end….. On the occasions they do start pouring you wish the earth would split open and take you with it.

Yeah! We Indians have this thing for big families…… in other words you could say Joint families. It is good training. You will learn to weather any kind of storm, cyclone, hurricane, tornado, name it…… But it’s a life long course…
Most people drop out of the course and go for nuclear families, atomic families and the works…..…….

We grouse, protest, whine and are mean to each other….. Its routine…….. We have fun, huge gatherings, family outings and are an intricate support system….It’s routine….. We miss each other when we’re apart and shed tears when we part and spend the better part of the year waiting for the vacations to see the ones staying far off... If we end up under the same roof for a day more than the two months summer vacations encompass and end up invading the other’s privacy we start mentally killing the other a hundred times …….It’s routine…..

We can’t stand the way the doors are banged, the beds left unmade, the bathroom occupied for five minutes more than the allotted time, the food that’s another member’s favourite but our pet peeve. We always have enough space in the house to fit ourselves in. Irrespective of the fact that there are 12 of us and only two bedrooms...

We race to the loo first thing in the morning and to the door to get the morning newspaper fresh and not wrinkled….It’s routine…..

We make vacations historical, birth of babies breaking news, birthdays a festival that makes the neighbour’s kids go green with envy…. We make weddings unforgettable, and academic achievements resemble the declaration of independence...It’s routine...

We make life hell for each other, fight over property, and dig up old hostilities….. We have the memory of an elephant when it comes to remembering who did what to who’s grandmother and fight over it. We either insult each other or try to take a swipe at their husbands, wifes, in laws or kids…..

We are the households where mothers in law and daughters in law still view the husband as the bone of contention and the husband’s sister is the devil offering the apple……Its routine….

We are the only family in the colony that goes to the movies and occupies the whole of the last row or go to a restaurant and contribute to 90% of the cacophony and take more than an hour to order…That is ordering just the starters. The next door Khannas {a boring family of four} have finished a seven course meal and gone home meanwhile {they are gluttons too}…. It’s routine…

We make stories and break hearts. We laugh over ridiculous jokes and watch tearjerkers over and over again together…. It’s routine…

We predict when five year old Sharanya will get married and how and if three year old Aarya likes cars or cows….. Both of them at the moment are wrestling over a barbie doll's dress...{Can you beat that?}....
We fight for the remote control when a cricket match has reached the final over and simultaneously a movie is nearing the climax… The old yell hoarse at the young to turn down the music. But who is listening? It’s routine……. Either we just don’t get the concept of privacy or maybe we take it too much to heart… We treasure hand me downs… They track the growth rates of individuals belonging to the same generation. .. It’s routine.

We etch the recollections of loved ones gone in memories made of marble…. We collectively try to make sense out of the warbling of the new baby born this tuesday…… We have horrible secrets to hide and joyous news to spread…. We go on family vacations with members ranging from 2nd cousins to friends of our cousin's in laws.....We can depress each other to death or bring the other out of gloom and doom… It’s routine……

We pray together, eat together, hate together. But the best part is that we love together.

We are the perfect Indian Joint Family….


Yours, running to occupy the bathroom first….

Be right back


Sunday, September 13, 2009

This too shall pass..........

Hi there to everyyyyyyyyybody............ This blog if you have noticed the date off the first blog you will realise has turned a month old........ I wasn't sure I'd be motivated enough to keep writing for even a week... Let alone a month!!!!!!!! Thanks anyways guys.. For following and supporting me...........

This post is a special one going out to my dad who celebrates his birthday today! And my bro SRjr who will celebrate his this thursday... Love you both.... Love you always....... This also goes out to my FAV aunt  and 3 of my uncles 2 of whom celebrate their birthday this month too. I hope you always think of me as sugar sweet!!!..............And one of my FAV male singers. Figure who that is yourselves! Good God!!! My life is full of virgoes!!!!!!!!!
Birthdays remind us of the precious time gone by and precious time left..........
This  birthday special goes out to alllllll of you guys sooo busy that you forget to take a breath and relax! So have fun enjoy the message { a rather long one}below!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am always doing two things at a time. One of the two always remains constant through out the day. My second set of actions keeps changing. It changes according to what people require off me. It repeats itself like the hands of clock. Twice in twenty four hours it ends up in the exact same spot. As long as the battery is intact this happens. The days it gives up so will the rhythmic ticking.

My first set of action is well, not a set exactly but a single action. It’s been there since I have come into being. It isn’t like breathing, I can alter breathing. It’s more like staying alive, just being alive. You can’t will it to stop. This action is thinking. Not the thinking over schedules to keep up to, assignments to complete or trains to catch.

Its thinking about the people that pass me by, weaving stories about them around the snippets of their conversations I hear, looking around me, not analysing or calculating, just soaking up the things around me the way they are.

Even thinking is like the ticking of the clock. The clock isn’t just a metaphor for mundane or monotonous routines. It changes. It can be eight in the morning or eight in the evening. It is a question of AM or PM but it matters a great deal. Thinking also changes like the changes in day and night. It is perspective that changes the essence of thought, but unlike the tic -toc that urges you to hurry the rhythm of thought is like a lullaby. It soothes you and slowly envelopes you in a secret world, a cocoon that is only protective and not suffocating.

Thought and silence come hand in hand. I have always believed that silence is golden and I still do. I prefer being the “silent spectator” like my friends fancy calling me. They feel silence is discomfiture, rudeness and the complete opposite of what etiquette calls for. They haven’t experienced the pleasure of observing, of listening, of dreaming. It is like lying on a soft downy bed after a hard day’s work. It’s like olives; you have to acquire a taste for it.

The mind is like a personal den. It offers you all the comforts of a bean bag, a deep soft rug to sink your cold legs into and a mug of coffee to warm you without actually providing the same.

To be lost in one’s own world is to be in fools paradise is what people say.

I will not contradict them but isn’t giving up something like the inexplicable beauty of the entire world which resides in the most composite form of happiness within you being in the most foolish fool’s hell?

We always do what others expect of us, playing a part in the obscure rigmarole called “normal life”. It is but a roof that stands on the four walls called ambition, drive, ruthlessness and energy.

But what most of us forget is that while building up these walls we put in so much of what we possess into its construction that there is nothing left for the walls to shelter, no one, not even yourself.

And what do empty and uncared houses do? They haunt……. They weep in silence until their own tears inundate them... But again who has the time to ponder over emptiness, a lack of some comfort is always pushing us over the edge to better ourselves. But it is always about things that can be seen and sensed, it’s the tangible that makes a difference. We never value things that can be only felt.

I am driven by what I feel, but what I must do creates a barricade that holds my feelings prisoner. My feelings are strong; they won’t give up without a fight. They beat with their little fists on the heavy, sturdy, constant walls until a crack appears somewhere. It isn’t easy to break these fortifications. They are the notions of other people regarding who I should be… it takes time. The fists of my feelings turn bloody, locked up within me they pace up and down varying from anger, melancholy to depression.

However we push them aside, nicknaming them as mood swings and vagaries of the human temperament. We let the feelings die when imprisoned, not even giving them a chance to appeal…….. We move on letting the creators of the barricade dictate terms to us. Never once thinking about the past, never once looking back.

Sometimes to go ahead you need to sift through sands of the past. When the dust is cleared you might find a precious shell that can add strength, spirit and splendour to the sand castle of your future. The future is nothing but a sand castle that the waters of time will wash away… it’s only the creation of something so elegant that make up memories. And the present becomes valuable just doing what your heart tells you to.

We always set standards or conditions and erase the beauty of most simple things. We assign to poetry figures of speech, paradoxes, rhyme schemes and kill the wonder the words evoke through constant analysis. Poetry lies in the beauty of the thought, the manner in which it is contemplated. Not in the realistic message that it is supposed to give. Not everything has a cause or reason. Certain things must be done or just have to happen, like writing down the words that flow through your heart and head.

What did the poet feel when he was writing isn’t the question. What are you feeling as you are reading it is what matters. Does it touch that part of you that you seldom realise is hidden there? Only then does it serve its purpose.

I eat because I am told to. I eat what is there. No one understands the marvel of eating what your senses crave for…..they do not comprehend the sharpness of the salt or the lingering aftertaste of sugar when you satisfy a craving…

I read books and listen to music together, both actions never reaching completion. But I have to. I am in a race against time striving to do all I want to but enjoying none in the process.

I prefer the cold… I enjoy it; because I feel cold I revel in the warmth I experience later. I can’t do justice to one without the other. I get hurt too.

Pain locks up our true self. I hadn’t written for a long time. I would come close to it but a curt word, a sharp reprimand would crush the inspiration that dared to bud.

But the pain at times feeds the seed of inspiration urging it to grow into a beautiful tree. Pain can also unlock talent; it can unlock our true selves. The only the realisation of the simple fact that doing what you want to do will make you happy is important… read a book; live the book… watch a movie if you feel like; enjoy in the splendour of someone’s creativity. Look outside, look at nature. Absorb the divinity of all the loveliness around you. Once in a while snuggle up in bed for 5 extra minutes if you want to. Maybe you might not find time for it ever again. Listen to music, live the lyrics. Songs are naught but poetry with a tune. Sing out loud it doesn’t matter if you sound like a donkey braying. Write a song; its all about writing what you feel and give it to someone you love! Cook, Create something that is appetizing to your nose, eyes and taste buds. Let your eyes feast on it before your mouth does…… maybe you might burn down the kitchen but you sure will have fun! Wear what makes you feel good, cosy and nice, even if it is a bathrobe.

Be silent if you wish to. Loquaciousness is overrated. What matters is what you feel about yourself not what others feel.

Pain and hurt and tension and all others things that are not nice are like dawn. It sheds light on all the things that we don’t want to see or go through again. But I stay content in the knowledge that this dawn will end in dusk where everything will slow down, where darkness will blanket and dull the jarring impact of reality, where we can give way to sleep and let our body indulge in peace that is felt when dreams illuminate the unknown joy hidden in the silence of night.

For then I know that I survived the ticking clock’s nagging reminders. That I have tried my best to be perfect and good and make others happy and like the glaring hot light of the day unhappiness shall make way for cosy and happy dusks….. That this too shall pass…

Yours thoughtfully


Thursday, September 3, 2009

Love and other similar disasters

Everybody is always lamenting about the economy these days…..

I am told it is basically people who were spendthrifts all their life before the market crashed and now have to keep all that green paper on a tight leash. I feel sorry for them since most of these innate squanderers must have only leashed dogs all their lives {think Chihuahuas with ribbons}. And if they are compulsive whiners then I can only imagine how distraught they must be wondering who exactly to blame since half of them do not have the mental facility to understand complex economics that explains markets…. After doing two years of economics I myself turn tone deaf if some one does me the superfluous favour of asking questions to compliment my non-existent excellence in the subject. Phew!!!!!! People, I tell you!!

Well I have decided to help these destitute souls by giving them someone to pass the buck on to. Maybe they should try the “New World Order”…..
For any one who is delighted that I am finally going to give substantial proof regarding my craziness by coming up with the most moronic cock and bull story possible then sorry to burst your bubble in advance. This isn’t my idea……. It’s a conspiracy theory that says that the whole world is controlled by a secret group of bankers who control the world through central banks……….. Ooooooooooohhhhhh!!!!!!!! Have we {as in you people reading this} already started seeing malevolence hidden behind the benevolent central banks who saved us all from drowning with the economy when it took an almighty downward plunge??????? I don’t know………But it’s a refreshing change from the ‘bad loans thanks to America theory’. {Persons wanting to know more about this particular theory, since you’re already online go Google it: P………}.

Talking of Google I quite like the way they changed their icon to commemorate Michael Jackson’s 51st birthday. All music channels were busy showing his most popular songs…. There are controversies regarding his death too! People have been talking of weird things happening in Neverland…… Please ignore the harmless ones about him being drugged and stuff. There are certain stories that raise your hackles about him having been possessed by some vile extra terrestrial creature. Ughhhhhhh........ I am sure Peterpan must be turning around in his grave {that is if he was stupid enough to leave the real neverland and turn old and die or he was really dumb and ticked tinker bell off}. If this sounds Greek to you I declare you as failed in your fairytales paper so go brush up on that aspect.
Talking of fairytales I always have come across write-ups declaring the prince Charles princess Diana wedding to be a fairytale wedding……. Too bad it ended up in adultery, a marriage broken and a car crash and put a rude full stop to the already dwindling belief of people in happy endings. It has always intrigued me how she died…… Her death has been topic for conversations on stormy nights by a fireside or cosy bedrooms filled with giggling teenagers on a sleepover or at dinner tables for years now…… Was she pregnant??????? Was she engaged to Dodi Fayed? Was it the paparazzi???? A drunk driver???? Or the MI6 {That is the british secret service... think james bond or british version of CIA}??? No one knows and those who do will never speak….. There’s a hilarious theory that says the world is dominated by some reptilian alien species that has taken over bodies of all the powerful people like the British royal family and George Bush and that princess Di’s knowledge of the same got her killed so that she would remain silent on this front……… Yeah I can imagine a reptile inside George Bush……. No wonder he reads books upside down and his hand is on his stomach since his heart is there {incase he has one} during the national anthem…….. Maybe that is why the day before when I was busy teaching the students in my social involvement programme this unusually monstrous lizard outside the window looked as if it was actually staring at me…….. maybe it’s an alien planning to invade my body next…… if the next post is about houseflies and other unappetizing delicacies please realize what must have happened……..brrrrrrr the very thought stuns me at a molecular, cellular whatever level …….

Cellular reminds me of secret cells and societies like the illumnati and the skull and bones in the Yale University. These are supposedly secret societies {how the hell it is then that they are all over search engines if there are ‘secret’ I don’t know} which aim at controlling the world or something exceedingly ambitious along the lines. Funny thing is that even here beloved Georgie’s name crops up again……. He is supposed to be a member of the Skull and Bones society at Yale. Yeah! Nice …… Lot like Jughead getting the Nobel Prize!

I like the whole aliens do exist concept… gives me a reason to keep gazing out of class during lectures….. “But Miss, honest to God! I saw an UFO...”
Hmmmmmmmm maybe Steven Spielberg should try making one more alien movie after war of the worlds wherein the President of the nation is an alien and gives out destructive orders! Hehehehehehehe………… Destructive governments ring a bell about false flag operations…….. It is actually a simple concept you know. You thought the 9/11 and other acts of terror were committed by terror cells out side of your nation????? How about this …. What if the terror cell was a white lie used by an instable government to gain the confidence of the masses???? {Meaning they did it themselves and fooled you big time by concoting stories about extremists at work} What better situation to do so than create a state of fear themselves so that the public would rely and put their trust in them???????? Smart huh????? Yeah!!! Ever heard of the book State of Fear by Michael Crichton………… It gives you a different outlook on the whole global warming gobbledygook. Gives me something to throw back at environmentalists who are just mentalists and nothing else... … The book basically enlightens us about “eco-terrorists” and how big fat firms use statistics to frighten us, ‘the erudite populace’. If you are worried about the whole world ending up being a huge edition of the Sahara desert then I think the book will make you worry about if you shall be sharing backyard space with mammoths and sabre-tooths since winter will be for ever and fur will be in fashion{ I wonder what PETA will have to say then}. It also raises the question ‘so what about petrol and all that???’ I mean if there supposedly is no global warming and all these resources won't exhaust themselves then why all that hike in prices of petrol huh?????? Anyways the Arabs I am sure will hate this conspiracy theory if it ever turns out to be proved true. Well! So much for all their man made islands……….. Maybe when apocalypse or the day of judgement or whatever calls upon us then maybe these islands will be all that is left for us like Noah’s ark or something you know! Yeah!

Some people think that the recent entry into our “diseases list”, swine flu is an experiment gone bad of the bio-weapons section of the US army……. Maybe they read Stephen King’s ‘The Stand’. Come to think of it the ‘captain tripps’ {the disease in the book} and our swiney are very much alike in a spooky, freaky kind of way……….
I wonder what big brother will have to say about my ideas on conspiracies……… Yeah they are saying that forced transition to Digital television broadcasting is practical realization of Big Brother concept. They claim that miniature cameras and microphones are built in Set-top boxes and newer TV sets to spy on people. Another claim describes use of mind control technology that would be hidden in the digital signal and used to subvert the mind and feelings of the people for subliminal advertising ……….. That and the movie" eagle eye "is true! it’s a nice movie though! I loved Shia ………
People always ask me how come I suddenly got hooked to English music…… I always was a Hindi gal {I still am}… Maybe the songs all have back masking in it you know. When you rewind the song a secret message is heard and in the normal version all you hear is baseless noise to fill in the space between verses and choruses….. And the secret message must have entered my subconscious without my knowing and I got addicted to these songs and bands and singers and then I became a follower of Satan and his diabolic ways…….Yada yada yada…….. People are so paranoid.……… Next we will have some group trying to exorcise the Linkin Park and the Jonas Brothers to stop then from sending god knows what devilish ideas to youngsters… The JoBros will charm their way out of trouble I am sure, what with all the smiles and clowning around……. But the Linkin Park will find it a bit trickier you know….. Basically all they have to do is to blast one of their songs at full volume… not a soul will dare come near ever again.
Souls and Satan and spirits have always intrigued humans….. What with the fascination with the number 666 and Ghost Hunters on the channel star world…… I always wonder how people differentiate between multiple personality disorder and possession of a body by a spirit…… Maybe it’s one and the same. Or maybe it isn’t. But it’s weird how people with MPD talk in languages they never even knew to exist in their normal state of mind… No wonder conspiracy theorists believe in all that hogwash about phantoms and spectres and stuff… All these weirdo conjectures are nothing compared to the most ancient theory that started doing its rounds since they days of Adam and Eve….. Oh c’mon!!!!!! We know it don’t we????? Alright …… it’s called “The Existence of LOVE” …. And I’ll tell you why I think it’s so…. There are those who are in favour of it and those who oppose its existence staunchly… We know both these sets of people. It isn’t like a certain group of scientists we can’t relate to even in the wildest of our imaginations. Some are our friends some are family and sometimes ‘tis just us. Meanwhile "We spend half our lives speculating, calculating, and cogitating about the existence of love whereas if we had put in the same amount of time and effort in the stock market we would have become millionaires" which is the smart quote for the day………. And like all other cock and bull stories we have a lot of books and movies made on this and we have a ball of a time adding fuel to the fires of our imagination……

So fundamentally LOVE is also a conspiracy theory in its own diabetic, cardiac arresting way…….. You can give me your views and opinions …… this is one hot topic for debating……. I am not for or against it….. I am, just having fun instigating you guys to give me your views………..

Until I am sure about my own stand on the love theory……..

Yours truly busy conspiring and instigating………