Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Sibling mail order

Dear SRjr,

“How are your studies going on??????” Ok, if I start a mail which begins like this you will surely claim me to be the most God-awful, boring sister you could find on earth. Ok then, so let me start by asking “Found a girlfriend yet????” Well, that makes me predictable and such a prying nosy parker! If I ask about your health you might think I'm nuts because no one apart from me knows how exactly exams can abet deterioration of one's health. The next option for me is to start off the conversation with something shocking by telling you “KEVIN JONAS IS GETTING MARRIED TODAY!” and you'd reply by saying “Urghhhh, psycho teenage sisters and their obsession for cute boy bands” rolling your eyes in mock disgust and exasperation in spite of the fact that you don’t mind them and love their songs too and well you’re as shocked as I am but you will want to be all manly in the gangly, unsure way most teenage boys are and say something cliché like "Do I look like someone who cares????" Then in an attempt to redeem yourself in my eyes and sound more humane you’d mumble a “Good for him”.

If I try for off hand-casual and start with “So how’s school????” You'd grunt and shrug and then with a little more prodding on my part {I was always great at wheedling stuff out of people} you'd start grousing about all those crazy kids in class and give me the details on who did what and update me on school scandals. And I am supposedly the older sister.

If I ask you about sports day in school you'd whine {such a typical Virgo} about how cold it is {which is only expected since your doing march past in the middle of a desert country in the middle of winter} and how unnecessary the whole charade was but you had to put up a face and bear with {instead of bunking it like I had done for as long as I could remember} it since mom and dad were the parents this year who were invited in the guests of honour category to distribute prizes at the event even though you'd be bubbling with inexplicable pride and joy inside of you. {I am too. Though I’d very well like to ask the principal why she chose to bestow this honour after I passed out.} If I ask “How are mom, dad and gran?” you’d start off on how they nag you to study and how you had the upper hand when the marks finally came because it proved you do study and do it well too. Maybe if you are in a good mood you'd pitch in about how you outsmarted all those smart alecks from the IGCSE section twice your size, weight, age and height when playing basketball with a lot of repetition of the words basket, dribbling, travelling and something else that sounded as foreign as Greek and I’d smile inwardly thinking 'my lil’ macho man!'

Then you'd ask me if I had my violin class which 90 out of 100 times I wouldn’t have had because you know how busy with concerts my tutor is and how he has a forgettory for a memory. Then you'd tell me about stuff that you learnt in your music class, about the new tunes you can play on the guitar and the drums. I’d say something like “lucky you” to hide the slow emergence of envy inside me and then lord on you the tunes you should learn to play and the sites you should go to because if Bev can do it on her own and {Bev is such a musical whiz without lessons} then so can you. You'd say something along the lines of ‘Shut up and mind your own business’ in a more respectful way acceptable to me and grunt a reply that’s neither affirmation nor denial since most tunes I want you to learn would be a JB song.

If we are speaking around mealtime then we'd ask each other what exactly we are going to have for lunch or dinner. You’d name something exotic and even before I can reply about the meal at my end you'd pitch in about what I am having and be right 99.9% with the answer of rice, Sāmbhar or chapatti and some veggie dish and smile smugly {How I hate that!}.

Then you would tell me about how you downloaded all those movies I’ve been dying to watch and the songs I’ve been dying to hear although I can watch and listen to all of those only when I come down tothe UAE next March and you know how much it irritates me that you can and I can’t. But it’s like a cat bringing a dead rat to its owner. “Look I had fun doing it but it’s all for you”. Even though it repels the owner they adore the gesture of love. Nothing I typed here implies to you being a cat and me your owner. {I’d like to though, but no thanks. You’d scratch the hell out of me}

You call up on Raksha Bandhan and bemoan the fact of how you are not earning, you’re dependent on mom and dad and so can’t gift me a thing and I’d say that’s totally fine and send you the Rakhi through our cousin who’s here for a visit only to receive a courier package with the book “THE HOST” that I have been dying to read.
It’s only been 2 and a half years since I got myself a phone and its been doing pretty well until last month when it became terminally ill and start dying bit by bit. First the screen blacked out and then I couldn’t hear a thing: blindness and deafness. Sigh…… I was mourning the slow death of my loyal cell and you were jumping for joy. You buggered mom and dad into getting me some hi-fi phone with touch screen, Wi-Fi and god knows what by letting slip things like “She needs a phone quick. How else will she keep in touch with us??? Alone out there…… and it needs to be good to look at. She’s a college going kid, isn’t she???? And her birthday’s in 2 weeks and you can’t make it to be with her this time and she most probably won’t get any gifts from family.” As a result I have a splendid phone now: the envy of all around me. One, I treat with as much care as I would a work of abstract art {I don’t really understand abstract art}.

We fight over juvenile things like the remote control and escalate it into something serious and end up brutally beating up the other {scratching, punching in the stomach, banging the other on the wall etc are included}. Our respectful form of love lasts only through the first week of my visit. No one incites mad rage and violence in me like you do. If you tell my friends in college about how violent I can be they would take you to meet the counselor.

You keep grumbling about how mature I am in all other aspects except when it comes to the JB and how I start acting ridiculous like a giggly schoolgirl but you will still record their show for me since I can’t watch it here. You coerce dad into getting me their latest CD before it releases here in India so I can gloat about it and make Bev go green with envy. You’ll complain about how I totally forget you when I meet up with my friends and hate the fact that mom and dad send you along with us incase we have plans to hang out in the mall till late in the night. Still you’ll talk to them and gang up with them to pull my leg {it’s appallingly the same length still, though dad would have been happy had I grown a few inches taller}.

Still when we are making our way out of the mall you will shepherd me and my friends and shoot dirty looks at any male species daring to look our way. And then when you hold my hand involuntarily like a reflex action and keep falling onto me in the course of walking and keep doing so until you have achieved the desirable proximity that assures you I am not going to gather my skirts up and run away somehow you’re once again the little chubby, curly haired toddler who’d hold my hands and look up at me with eyes full of trust that said “my big sister bestest”.

I still remember the time when you were in kindergarten and I was a first grader and after school while we were waiting for dad to come pick us up I was making most of my left over breakfast when the school bully decided to push me over and drop my food. You went and shook the guy, your little hands hardly catching hold of more than his blazer. Later, I also remember standing at the supervisor’s office, the bully being yelled at and me administering a cold, wet handkerchief to your fair soft cheek red with the imprint of that idiot’s hand, all the while emphatically shrieking out to the supervisor about how " he slapped my little brother!”
I also remember coming home once and fuming away to glory, venting out a 7 year old kid’s frustration at mom {which mostly included tears and crying and gritted teeth} because "that lady” {your class teacher} asked me not to visit you at break time because after I left you’d be sad and want to come with me. My anger was justified, I guess because who are teachers to decide when brothers and sisters meet??????

You always get me gifts. For birthdays, great results, some achievement or the other. But just remember {and revel in the fact since I don’t give you a single thing in return} that you are my most cherished gift. Thank God mom and dad had a baby boy…… Thank God he gave me a little brother who is almost a foot taller than I am.

This is exactly why I don’t call you up because I know what our conversation is going to be like. So why waste time and money?

And before I forget I just came to know about how you messed up your French paper….Such a careless boy…..Call me up, we have to revise the grammar rules again….. God! How many times do I repeat the same things before you understand how to go about it?? Do you know  that your mule headedness drives me over the wall? Well, just call up ok…….. Or do I have to do that too now????

Well, at least sending a mail to you has its perks. I can post it on the blog.

Yours the eternal bossy big sister {who Loves........ to boss You around}



  1. Very touching!!! I relived the past decade or so as if it all happened yesterday. May the cute siblings be blessed with eternal love, camraderie, good health, peace and immense happiness forever.

    All the very best and blessings to the cute duo!!!

  2. i guess your brother is one hell of a lucky fellow to get a sister like you!
    falak at her best once again!
    very touching and emotional!

  3. This was a really sweet and warm post ... u have a wonderful brother.. i was almost jealous i didn't have one... but your brother also should remember that he has one great n amazing sister!! This was truly heartfelt...

  4. :') :'D Those were happy crying & proud crying...happy(extremely happy!) that SRjr has an amazing & loving sis like you :) & proud to hv an outstanding & mind-blowing writer of a friend like you!! this is such a touching post! its a personal letter to ur bro but when i read it, its so easy to relate to! my eyes were moist when i read the part where he was walking wid u outsde the mall...honestly!
    u hv true talent to gather years of feelings & put them 2gether in a post just like u experienced them the day b4!

    keep writing away to glory!

  5. wow!!!!..every description is so well put that u can actualli feel all the emotions while readin it..i miss having a sibling..lucky SRjr and vice-versa..cud u give away some of ur writing skills to me??(thats how goood u are!!!!!!)

  6. comments really..
    I have a brother and I know exactly how you feel..
    ok..too choked [with tears]..will talk to you about this when we meet!!

  7. You forgot 3-pointer, free throw and contact! ( ;

    That was awesome!!! I can totally relate except my bro is older!!! haha

  8. Lakshmi:- Thank You! Without your blessings nothing is possible right?

    mac satos:- You bet! I keep telling him the same and in reply he sticks his tongue out and rolls his eyes...... Thanks!

    yohanna:- Thank you! You want a brother? I guess once in a while we can exchange our siblings. But do return him ok?

  9. bev:- :..) That was embarrassed-happy crying Thanks a ton! It was just one of those days when things that happened a long time ago flash before your eyes like it is happening right now. So I thought 'hey, why not try and make a few of those memories at least some what concrete'. Talking of talent I should be proud of you and I am.... People please be informed that in a few years to come bev is gonna scorch the stage with her awesome voice and your kids are going to beg you to by bev's cd's. Lucky me! I'll have them before even before they release on iTunes!

    Shruti:- Thank you! Can't imagine a life without siblings..... But hey, you have your friends, right????????? We will try and be the best pests ever :) You want talent???? I'm kind of short on it right now, so like I said maybe bev can lend you some of hers:)Thank You once again!

    Ash:-Ah! Thanks Ash! I knew I forgot to mention something important. I guess the pain that the memories of being beaten up brought blocked out the part where I defend myself. Great to know other siblings indulge in beating up. I have proof to show my mother that we are not the only ones. Punches thrown by an older brother must be more painful right? Since they have had many more years to practice ;)

  10. hi falak
    there u go again! u hv a wonderful way of lettin ur emotions come thru!
    well some one is gettin inspired! might as well end up with a blog !

  11. black beauty:- Wonderful! You have to send me the link when you do. Nice to know I can influence someone;) {I don't seem to have that power even over my 3 year old and 4 year old cousins}

  12. rememba lil SRjr always wid his big SIS. goin around wid her everywer home plays, parties.....PSST listenin 2 our convo & runnin 2 tell was all so hilarious.

    wish u both all the happiness & goodness in dis world.

    may ur cute sis-bro relationship live long forever an stay away frm evil eyes.

  13. Hi Falak,
    The way you portray your emotions is just so cool!!!! I wish that you could write as often as possible!!!! I really enjoy your writing!!!!

  14. Sparsh:- Oh how I remember that! I also remember how we'd threaten and bribe him with chocolates to save our skins. Once we were always together and now we hardly get to see each other. That's life:)

    Manasa:- Thank you for taking time to visit the blog! I wish I could write as often as possible too! Blame my ancient PC and faulty internet connection.

    To all of you who commented:- Thanks a ton for all your blessings and well wishes:)
    From SRjr and Falak

  15. Sonya D'SouzaMarch 1, 2010 at 3:45 PM

    This is another piece that I can so relate to...!!!! What with me having a lil kid brother too..... Boys are so typical...espcially "brothers!" It's awesome!!!!!!!!

  16. Sonya:- Boys....... They say that us girls are difficult to understand but I think its the other way around....... What my brother likes my cousin doesn't and what interests my uncle doesn't interest my father. But then like you said some characteristics are soooooooo typical to 'boys'. Can't live with them can't live without them:)

  17. Hahaha!! The way you were predictable about how your brother would converse with you...that was awesome and totally made me laugh! =D Did I mention that this mail reminds me of my brother? And just like you, I have a younger bro whom I too love to boss around. I mean, come on...which big sister wouldn't love that? Lol. And the mail was sooo damn sweet!! =] Love your work!


  18. Revathy:- Bossy and elder sister are mutually inclusive.. Glad to know I could make you laugh :D Thank you so much for all you appreciation and encouragement.